Ep. 41: Everyone In France Seems Pretty Terrible

Ep. 41: Everyone In France Seems Pretty Terrible

Episode 41, ‘Everyone in France seems pretty terrible’, on Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

This week, Dave and Steve take on the rough and tumble world of fragrant essential oils, aroma compounds, fixatives, and solvents. That’s right, they watched and read Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind. You’ll pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge. While ths episode never goes into territory that would require an “explicit” tag, if there was the option of adding “mildly uncomfortable”, that would certainly be on here.

  • Intro Clip: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.
  • Dave and Steve agree not to change something that’s working.
  • Dave and Steve change something that’s working.
  • Steve doesn’t like anyone.
  • Dave doesn’t approve of Steve as a sexual creature.
  • Dave rubs his knowledge of French in Steve’s ignorant face.
  • Steve is grossed out by concept of birth.
  • “Pitiable” means deserving or arousing pity. “Pitbull” is a type (not breed) of dog. “Pit Bull” a rapper best known for his role in the hit videogame Scarface: The World Is Yours. But “pitable” doesn’t mean anything Steve.
  • Steve spends a lot of time talking about how attractive Ben Whishaw is. Dave seems to agree just to get Steve to stop talking about it.
  • Standing offer: $20 to anyone who guesses Dave’s favorite smell before he says it.
  • Maybe “pitable” is commonly used in the fruit world to describe drupes?
  • “How did you like the murder?” is a sentence that will come back to haunt both Dave and Steve at some point in their lives.
  • Especially when Dave starts describing it as “beautiful”.
  • Steve’s key insight this week is that scent is different than sight.
  • The editor had the ability to remove the noise of Dave stretching, but deliberately chose not to. For those that want to skip right to it, check out the 32 minute 26 second mark. You’re welcome.
  • Shoutout to friend of the show, Scott Thompson.
  • Or perhaps “pitable” is used by hunters to describe terrain which can easily be transformed into a rudimentary animal trap?
  • Dave and Steve would never be aroused by nudity. Nope. They’re upstanding citizens.
  • Religion, love, and eating your neighbour: The importance of setting goals.
  • Neither Dave nor Steve end the episode by saying, “Smell ya later!”. Missed opportunity.
Ep. 40: I Will Never Speak To You Again. I Hate You.

Ep. 40: I Will Never Speak To You Again. I Hate You.

Episode 40, ‘I will never speak to you again. I hate you.’, on Canons

In this week’s episode, Dave and Steve get into what it means for a work to be ‘canonical’ and why it even matters.

  • Intro Clip: Canon in D – Johann Pachelbel.
  • Spelling is hard.
  • Dave and Steve bring their C-Game to this episode.
  • This episode brought to you in part by the Wikipedia page on “canons”.
  • For a helpful primer on the Bible, see the work by renowned scholar Dan Brown.
  • Is Moby Dick technically in pop culture yet or do we have to wait for Zach Snyder’s take on it?
  • Steve’s education is 8 inches long. And it’s thick too.
  • Hey Steve, line is “I am a leaf on the wind” not “I am a mote on the wind”.
  • Dune reference!
  • Nesting a list orally is not for the faint of heart — or Steven, apparently.
  • If ever there was a story just waiting for a summer blockbuster to be made about it, the Metre Convention of 1875 is it.
  • As is to be expected, Dave throws himself headfirst into long-standing literary theory debates.
  • Dave shows off his knowledge of political philosophers.
  • From Plato’s Republic to Star Wars in two simple steps.
  • Is “canon” the new “literally“?
  • The voice Steve puts on when he’s making fun of himself has a strange quality to it, no?
  • Dave is still angry about the blatant racism that the American publishers of Harry Potter have shown towards philosophers.
  • “Sherlock Holmes.” — DISCOVERING THE BORDER BURGHS, and, BY DEDUCTION, the BRIG BAZAAR.
  • Steve says “so what?” a lot.
  • “Fandom is Broken” by Devin Faraci (and his thoughtful follow-up piece, “Yes, Disney Should Have a Queer Princess”).
  • Dave refuses to mention Anglicans or the Eastern Orthodoxy.
  • Fandom, religion, and the pursuit of truth.
  • Steve stretches the limits of the word “interesting”.
  • Dave hurts Steve’s feelings.
Ep. 39: They’re Not Hecklers Out of Any Greater Good

Ep. 39: They’re Not Hecklers Out of Any Greater Good

Episode 39, ‘They’re not hecklers out of any greater good’, on Comedy Specials

In this week’s episode, Dave and Steve approach whether there is a particular style to be found in comedy specials — mostly as an excuse to watch a bunch of comedians all week.

  • Intro Clip: Jim Gaffigan – Mr. Universe
  • Steve is amazed by this newfangled VHS technology.
  • “Nubile” is one of those words that probably shouldn’t get used to describe an art form.
  • Dave suggests that you can tell what kind of comedy you’re going based on the hairstyle of the comedian.
  • Dave and Steve wonder whether Bill Burr is a nice guy on the inside.
  • Steven briefly refers to Seinfeld as real life.
  • Ricky Gervais started from the bottom.
  • Dave invokes the sacred art of slam poetry and chapbooks.
  • Things Dave and Steve forget the name of: American Ham; John Hodgman; Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill; the word “delineate”.
  • Rarer or more rare?
  • Dave finishes off a boxing metaphor by almost using a sexual metaphor.
  • Dave regals us with his Social Studies curriculum.
  • Steve kind of goes off topic to chat about Ryan McMahon and Howie Miller for a bit.
  • Steve is sure about something that never happened.
  • Dave issues a disclaimer about Bill Cosby.
  • Dave remembers an unfortunately large amount of Adam Sandler’s comedy routines.
  • Dave drops his “having a kid” privilege.
  • Dave compares Eddie Murphy to Huckleberry Finn. Is that in poor taste?
  • George Carlin: The Last of the Beat Generation.
  • Steve confession time.
  • In response to Steve’s confession, Dave talks about how great he is.
  • Brief thoughts regarding the nobility of hecklers.
  • Dave talks at length about looking at his bit.
  • Steve and Dave didn’t talk at all about music-primary comedians such as Bo Burnham, Tim Minchin, or Tenacious D. This could either be an oversight or a deliberate choice. Who knows!
Ep. 38: Peak Star Trek

Ep. 38: Peak Star Trek

Episode 38, ‘Peak Star Trek’, on Star Trek

In our nerdiest episode yet (which is surprising, considering how often they talk about nerdy subjects), Dave and Steve invite special guest Theodore Sherman to talk about the entire Star Trek film and television universe. They do. For a long time.

  • Intro Clip: Star Trek: TOS Opening Theme.
  • Due to the nature of our recording set-up, Dave sounds echo-y. Blame Theo who we will also hold responsible for making the episode run long. Very, very long. Like the Ender’s Game episode long.
  • “Star Trekxpert”, Steven. What a missed opportunity.
  • Steve and Theo confuse some of the details about the existence of God.
  • Dave approves of Star Trek in the universal, but hates it in the particular.
  • Theo avoids saying a bad word, by saying a slightly less bad word.
  • Does anyone else think that Theo has a calming, soft-spoken voice that is kind of like a really nerdy lullaby?
  • Theo says a bad word.
  • Theo, Dave, and Steve argue about Star Trek: Voyager, because Theo has absurd guidelines for “best Starfleet captain”.
  • Theo says another bad word. To save space, let’s just assume that every second bullet point from here on out restates that.
  • Star Parenting.
  • Theo is Steven’s Raymond Babbitt.
  • Star Trek is the original The Legend of Zelda.
  • Theo calls the new Star Trek movies an “alternative universe”, clearly ignoring The Style Guide‘s style guide take on the matter.
  • Trekkie vs Trekker.
  • Dave half-sarcastically apologizes for not doing his homework. Theo forgives him.
  • For some reason Steven starts talking about the Berlin Wall.
  • Dave and Theo talk about pyjamas for a while.
  • Steve has a special message for fourteen-year-olds.
  • Theo didn’t know that Steve loves Frasier.
  • “It was a station. It was stationary.”
  • Steve owes Deanna Troi an apology.
  • To directly contradict Dave’s claim regarding the greatness of prequels, go rewatch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
  • Theo has problems with Benedict Cumberbatch.
  • Dave thinks Battlestar Galactica needed an episode where the cast played Cranium and Scattergories.
  • Dave asks two quick questions. They take half an hour to answer.
  • Steven thinks poorly of studio executives.
Ep. 37: Chess is Where I Learned to Trash talk

Ep. 37: Chess is Where I Learned to Trash talk

Episode 38, ‘Chess is where I learned to trash talk’, on board games

In this week’s episode, Dave and Steve meander around the topic of board games.

  • Intro Clip: Louis CK – Live at the Beacon Theater
  • Board game cafes improve on all the traditions of dog fighting.
  • Dave compares Settlers of Catan to the reefer.
  • Steven besmirches Monopoly‘s good name.
  • Steve starts an ordered list, then embeds a sublist in the first item, and forgets about the original list.
  • Dave drops a subtle hint about his forthcoming child.
  • Hey Steven, maybe you should read the Illinois Chess Association etiquette guidelines.
  • Apparently Sorry: The Angry Birds Edition doesn’t exist… yet.
  • Dave and Steve share their top secret Game of Thrones: The Board Game strategy. Listen and weep, Geoff.
  • Steve likes setting up the game board.
  • Scrabble ends up being the keystone for this episode.
  • Dave pronounces Agricola like a hipster does.
  • Steven uses visual metaphors.
  • Dave and Steve are Terra Mystica Grandmasters.
  • Presumably triggering the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon for someone, Steve references Rube Goldberg machines.
  • Steve likes playing board games by himself.
  • Steve throws himself under the bus and attempts to drag Dave along for the ride. Dave does not approve.
Ep. 36: The Billy Crystal of Acting

Ep. 36: The Billy Crystal of Acting

Episode 36, ‘The Billy Crystal of Acting’, on Whoopi Goldberg

This week Dave and Steve continue their wildly successful series of actor profiles, this time with the legendary Whoopi Goldberg. What began as an opportunity to make fun of Nicolas Cage and his weird career has evolved into a more thoughtful look at what makes particular actors work so well — and, with Whoopi, Dave and Steve take to the challenge with aplomb.

  • Intro Clip: Theodore Rex – Trailer
  • Like Lauryn Hill, Steven will now go by “Stevyn”.
  • Whoopi Goldberg is not Shakespeare.
  • Dave sounds a lot like Abed.
  • Intros to comedy specials have always been terrible.
  • Stevyn, like everyone else, forgets both the actors and characters in Eddie.
  • Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Whoopi.
  • Dave misremembers the sexy pottery scene from Ghost. Dramatically.
  • Is anyone surprised that Dave and Stevy don’t like The View?
  • Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar for Gone with the Wind in 1939.
  • An EGOT is a thing, Dave — and Whoopi was the first African American to achieve it.
  • Stevyn needs to talk about The Colo(u)r Purple.
  • Dave explains why Sister Act is a perfect film. Stevyn doesn’t quite agree.
  • Dave gets quite upset when Stevyn confuses hit 90’s icon Alanis Morissette for one-hit wonder Meredith Brooks.
  • Deanna Troi is clearly inferior to Guinan.
  • Stevyn says “the Troi family” in an obvious attempt to avoid mispronouncing “Lwaxana”.
  • Dave does the same thing.
  • Dave gently corrects Stevyn.
  • For two people who claim not to watch The View, Dave and Stevyn sure seems to have a great deal of hate for it.
  • Dave apologies to Stevyn for insulting Billy Crystal, but he never apologizes to Billy Crystal.
Ep. 35: The Zombie is the Working Class Vampire

Ep. 35: The Zombie is the Working Class Vampire

Episode 35, ‘The zombie is the working class vampire’, on zombie movies

This week Dave and Steve take on the undead hordes with an exploration of zombies and zombie films.

  • Intro Clip: Night of the Living Dead
  • Dave showcases his expertise in the Dad Joke genre.
  • Steven says “kaiju”.
  • Dave sings the body horrific.
  • On the Origin of Species by Means of Unnatural Selection.
  • Dave accidentally makes a sweet Highlander reference.
  • Steve begins to answer his own question and, as one might expect, sounds smart…
  • … until he stops making sense altogether.
  • Dave tries to bring order to the chaos.
  • I am become zombie, destroyer of worlds.
  • Dave mentions Hitler for no reason whatsoever.
  • Steven apologizes for referencing 2012.
  • In all things, slow > fast.
  • For no justifiable reason, Steve throws shade against Douglas Coupland.
  • Steve forgets the kind of zombies present in Dawn of the Dead (2004). He should be ashamed of himself. Also, he is objectively wrong about it being the best zombie film.
  • The editor cannot find the Highlander quote that Dave keeps referencing.
  • As usual, Steve laughs at the set-up and not the punchline.
  • Steven apologizes for referencing 2012 again.
  • Steve claims that people age at different rates.
  • Dave and Steve like magic.
Ep. 34: What is the Best Colour in the Universe?

Ep. 34: What is the Best Colour in the Universe?

Episode 34, ‘What is the best colour in the universe?’, on the Academy Awards

Dave and Steve return with an episode that was definitely, 100% recorded this week. No doubt. There is certainly no way that it was recorded immediately following the Oscars and then ignored until this week. Nope. This week they tackle the topic of the Academy Awards, conceptually, rather than specifically — although they do delve into particular cases to help draw out their broader points. Additionally, Dave tanks any possibility of Steve getting involved in politics ever again.

  • Intro Clip: The 42nd Academy Awards
  • Dave blames Steven for everything.
  • Dave and Steve have an irrational hatred and love for the movie Gladiator.
  • Dave laments the loss of his childlike sense of wonder.
  • Confession time: this episode was recorded months ago, before Dave had seen The Martian. We apologize for lying to you.
  • Al Pacino and Russell Crowe starred in the 1999 Best Picture nominee The Insider. Dave and Steve will be happy and devastated to know that it was a box office flop.
  • Dave viciously slanders Leonardo Dicaprio.
  • Steve uses the phrase “they used to have…” very loosely.
  • How does anyone justify Meryl Streep’s nomination for The Devil Wears Prada?
  • Steve suggests that The Style Guide is on par with The Academy Awards.
  • Dave makes bold claims about films that he has never seen.
  • What does ‘best’ even mean? And, like, have you ever really noticed how weird hands are, man?
  • Steven claims that he is not a special snowflake.
  • Steven claims that he is a special snowflake.
  • Dave has read books before.
  • Is Brie Larson going to be another Sandra Bullock situation, Dave?
  • Listen for Steve’s entirely appropriate use of the word “arcane”.
  • Steve is incredulous that Beauty and the Beast was nominated.
  • Steve gets very defensive of Moonstruck.
  • Dave doesn’t know how to pronounce Jessica Lange.
  • Whatever happened to Helen Hunt?
  • Dave and Steve spend the remainder of the episode being white dudes.
Ep. 33: Everyone Had All This Superman Baggage

Ep. 33: Everyone Had All This Superman Baggage

Episode 33, ‘Everyone had all this Superman baggage’, on Movie Adaptations

Hey look, Steven’s back!

This week, Dave and Steve cover the vast array of movies based on books — although, as it turns out, they miss talking about almost all of the notable ones such as American Psycho, Heart of Darkness, The Godfather, and The Devil Wears Prada. Still, they give it the ol’ college try and get through a goodly number. Regardless, Dave thinks its nice working with proper villains again.

  • Intro Clip: Apocalypse Now
  • Dave doesn’t hear Steven making fun of him.
  • Steve correctly identifies (but probably mispronounces) this guy.
  • Does it sound to anyone else like Steve is racist against teenagers?
  • How to steal like an artist.
  • Fucking Tom Bombadil.
  • Steve catches himself right before he says, “Fight-battle”.
  • Let’s see if we can make this podcast the top Google hit for the term ‘bragsplanation’.
  • The Matrix was pretty clearly an adaptation of both the Bible and Plato’s Allegory of the Cave.
  • Dave makes a terrible mistake which is corrected thusly: Johnny Mnemonic the novel by Terry Bisson was an adaptation of the film Johnny Mnemonic directed by Robert Longo and starring Keanu Reeves which was an adaptation of the short story “Johnny Mnemonic” by William Gibson.
  • Dave hates O Brother, Where Art Thou? in a different way than Scott hates The Princess Bride.
  • Everything is a Remix.
  • Steve says “I think you’re right to point out…” to a comment that he, and not Dave, made.
  • Unsurprisingly, Dave and Steve have strong feelings about the Harry Potter films.
  • Perfume reminds Dave of Daredevil.
  • The editor acknowledges that the last bullet point was deliberately misleading with its lack of italics.
  • Dumbledore ≠ Gandalf.
  • Steve stumbles into a theory about the Lord of the Rings films use of music.
  • It’s not the Watchmen, Steven.
  • Because Dave and Steve haven’t talked enough about the Marvel Cinematic Universe…
  • Steven gets confused by words.
  • Dave hates teenage girls, but not movies with teenage girls in them.
  • Obviously, Steven is throwing shade at the Chronicles of Narnia film series and not the BBC television serial.
  • Ever helpful, Dave refuses to name the latest Bond movie.
  • Dave cuts Steven off as he starts to talk about The English Patient.
  • Steven talks about how The Shining misunderstood The Shining.
  • Dave saves Hollywood.
  • Apropos of nothing, guys: “explainabrag”.
Ep. 32: Oh No. His Potatoes Got Blown Up

Ep. 32: Oh No. His Potatoes Got Blown Up

Episode 32, ‘Oh No. His Potatoes Got Blown Up’, on Castaway and other Castaway-like films?

Once again we are still without Steven Orr, so Dave sits down with Theodore Sherman to discuss Castaway, and all other Castaway films.

  • Intro Clip: The Martian
  • Theo has seen Castaway. So has Dave.
  • Dave gives a quick and obvious description of the Castaway Film Genre.
  • Dave manages to sneak in a reference to this guy from Runaway Jury.
  • Theo hates Dave’s improv.
  • Dave has a crush on Matt Damon
  • Theo doesn’t think a funny movie is a comedy.
  • GoodSoloActing == Acting.
  • Dave can’t leave Sandra Bullock alone. Come on Dave, she’s an Oscar winner! Let her be.
  • Julia Roberts Lost in Space – Best Picture 2018
  • Theo decides he’s going to start listening to the Style Guide.
  • Theo references Steven Orr to boost his podcast cred.
  • We know! Daniel Craig was a Storm Trooper.
  • Dave didn’t like The Revenant because there was too much acting?
  • Man vs Nature? Person vs Nature?
  • Theo doesn’t know the difference between a beach ball and a volley ball. Dave doesn’t either.
  • Theo would download a book.
  • Theo has seen old movies you’ve never even heard of. He’s so hip.
  • Neither Theo nor Dave are doctors.
  • Dave encourages Theo to rant. Theo rants.
  • Helen Hunt is Theo’s Sandra Bullock.
  • What would you do first if you were stranded on a desert island?
  • Answer: Inventory.
  • People are made out of food, and water.
  • Theo is much better at surviving than Dave.
  • Dave spoils the book I am Legend.
  • The Armageddon Effect
  • 11th Hour Problem
  • Dave mentions I am Legend a 15th time.
  • Theo compares himself to Steven in his ruthlessness.
  • Thought Experiment: Where else could someone be cast away?
  • Dave likes the word “milieu”
  • Theo can’t not bring up Star Trek